When Obeying Parents Is Not Allowed
In other words, there is an exception in the commandment to obey parents and that is when they order us to disobey God and act against the human knowledge system.
All of the verses about being kind to parents and doing good to them mention no preconditions or exceptions. But there is a limit to obeying parents, according to the Quran. Absolute obedience is only when it comes to obeying God, the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and Ulul Amr.
The Quran says in Verse 15 of Surah Luqman: “But if they strive with you to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. And accompany them in this life with kindness; and follow the Path of he who turned to Me. To Me you shall return and I will inform you of all that you have done.”
The phrase “But if they strive with you to make you associate with Me” makes obeying parents conditional. In other words, if they order us to do things that are good and useful or Mubah, we should obey them, but if they try to make us ascribe a partner to God (Shirk) we shouldn’t.
The above-mentioned phrase shows that there is no logic to Shirk and it is rationally impossible (to consider a partner to God). It emphasizes that blind imitation is forbidden in everything. The child must be thankful to parents but should not follow them and obey them when they order him to do things that are outside of his system of knowledge and understanding.
Two other phrases in this verse, “do not obey them” and “accompany them in this life with kindness”, show that although being kind to parents is highly emphasized in the Quran, obeying God takes precedence. So obeying parents in cases that lead to deviation from the right path is not allowed but this (not obeying) should be accompanied with kindness.
One should be kind to parents even if they are infidels but when it comes to obedience, one should not follow a path that leads to deviation.
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Interestingly, whenever the Quran orders avoiding something, it offers an alternative. Here in this verse, after ordering us not to obey parents in Shirk, the Quran gives us an alternative: “follow the Path of he who turned to Me”.
At the end of the verse, again the belief in the Resurrection is highlighted, because this belief guarantees rectifying affairs and obeying God.
